Star Trek: Anti "All in a Day's Work
by The Antiwesley
Summary: The shakedown cruise of the Starship Antiwesley doesn't quite go as first believed.


STAR TREK:ANTI by Kris Herzog 

The basic Trek stuff is copyright of those Paramount people. But the rest is all mine...MINE! MINE I TELL YOU! 

The Cast (so far): 

Captain Eric Norman Captain,U.S.S.Antiwesley 

Lt.Servix The Antiwesley's First Officer 

Commander Emilio Ramirez at Navigation 

Ensign Rufus P. Roscoe at Security 

Lt. Hans O'Reilly at Engineering 

Commander Voluptura The Antiwesley's Chief Medical Officer 

in: 

STAR TREK:ANTI - All in a day's work.. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- T - 5 months 28 days. Deep Space. The Bridge. U.S.S.Antiwesley, NCC-2001. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Captain's Log: Stardate 44630.1. Having assumed command of the Antiwesley from Admiral Skutter two days ago, he ordered us to travel to the nearby Piti system for basic scans of the lifeless bodies that reside there. We are proceeding at Warp 1, as my engineer informs me that we are overdue for a 'backfire'. ---------------------- 

"Ja, Captain, you canna keep 'er at more then warp two for an hour or so. This dilithium they gave us. She's not quite used to the stuff." came the voice of the Antiwesley's chief engineer, Hans O'Reilly. 

"Well, Hans, I'm going to need more than warp two, if we're going to be out there exploring all those strange new worlds, seeking all those new things, and those new aliens like we're supposed to." 

Servix turned in her chair and stared down at the captain. 

"And maybe we'll find a world filled with rivers of chocolate and mountains of ice cream." she said matter-of-factly. 

"Ach. That sounds delicious. Might get me wee bairns going a bit faster.." 

Eric hit the button,cutting off the comm channel. 

"Servix. Please. This _is_ a Starfleet vessel. Try to maintain some of that Vulcan logic." 

"My apologies Captain. I try sometimes. But I left Vulcan before my studies were complete. I learned to rid myself of hate, love, joy, sadness. But I never fully rid myself of humor. Especially sarcasm." she turned back to her station. The comm panel bleeped. Eric hit the button. 

"Go ahead." 

"Kapitan. I was wondering if getting at _least_ warp three capability would quicken our time to that delightful world of Servix's." 

"Hans, why would you want to go to Vulcan?" 

"Ah...so Vulcan has chocolate rivers? No wonder it's so dry there." 

Eric glanced over to Servix. He almost thought that he could almost see her smiling. He grimaced as he replied to his engineer. 

"Hans. That was Mr.Servix's attempt at humor. There is no world with chocolate rivers and ice cream mountains." 

Eric could almost hear the disapointment over the comm system. 

"Actually, Sir.." began Servix,stopping at Eric's glare. 

"Well, Hans,if you've got me at warp three, I'll take it." 

"Aye, Kapitan. I'll try to get a wee more out of her. Engineering out." 

Eric sighed and hit the button. 

"Mr.Ramirez, if you please, increase speed to warp 3." the helmsman looked up from his "Celestial Navigation Made Easy" book and nodded. 

"Yes Captain." 

The helmsman pressed a button and moved a lever up an inch or so. Suddenly, the Antiwesley lurched forward and the saucer section raised itself above the line of flight for an instant. 

"Mr.Ramirez... what was that?" asked Eric. 

"I believe he was attempting what was deemed a 'neutral drop'." Servix replied from her station without turning around. 

"Well?" Eric gleamed at the helmsman. 

"I can honestly say that it was _not_ a neutral drop sir." replied Ramirez. 

"Good." replied Eric. 

"Starships don't have a neutral gear." Ramirez said with a smirk. 

Eric growled. It was going to be one of those days. 

------------------- T - 5 months,27 days. The Piti System. ------------------- 

Captain's Log: Supplemental. Having arrived in the Piti system, I am taking advantage of this time to acquaint myself with some of the ship's crew. After a few visits around the ship, I am going to visit Sickbay and get a check-up. ----------------- 

Personal Log, Rufus P. Roscoe. The Captain sat down by me today in the mess area. I was totally freaked. Here I was settin' there eating my food. Then WHAM! in he walks, I am in awe. I was on the Potomac at Wolf 359, and I heard of what he had done. Man o man,if it wasn't ol' *TERMINATED* 

------------------ 

Eric sat down to the only crewmember in the galley. He looked at what the ensign was eating and nodded. 

"So, what's your name and what do you do?" asked Eric. 

"I am Ensign Rufus P. Roscoe, sir. Security is my occupation. and damn good at it too." 

"Waitaminute...I know your name. You were on one of those cryo-satellite thingies that they found floating out there, weren't you?" 

Rufus nodded. Eric, meanwhile, wondered why the room was empty. Then he saw the ensign's meal choice. He glanced at the chronometer on the wall. 

"I was frozen in 1998. The Feddie historians got tired of hearing the stories over and over, so they let me enter Starfleet academy. And here I am." 

Eric nodded. 

"I see. We'll have to talk some more later. I have to run." Eric glanced at the chronometer on the wall nervously again. 

Eric got up and shook Rufus's hand. He hurried out of the galley. Rufus stared down at his meal. 

'Guess the Cap'n don't like the looks of octopus.' and continued digging in. 

TO BE CONTINUED.... 

STAR TREK:ANTI - All in a day's work.. (Part 2) -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Captain walked down the hallway towards Sickbay. After a bit, he figured out why the ensign was the only person in the galley. He was a midget. Simply that. He made a note to address the crew on treatment of those who are different than the norm. Then again, that would probably cover 3/4th of the existing crew. He sighed. 

The hallway near Sickbay was lined with a crowd. Half looked as if they were feigning illness, the others doing a good job at it. The crowd parted as Eric made his way to the door. Straightening his jumper top, 'The Picard Tug' as it was circling in the upper eschelons at Starfleet HQ, he entered Sickbay. 

Standing at a biobed stood a bald 7'3" woman. 

"A-hem." Eric cleared his throat. "I'm looking for Dr. Voluptura." he said stumbling over the name. 

"You've found her." the large woman replied. Turning, he then noticed the slight ridges on her forehead. 

"Don't worry Captain. I'm well in control." 

Eric grimaced. "Um..as you were...Doctor." 

"I take it you've never really dealt with a Deltan before.." 

"Well...none so...big as you.." Eric felt a shiver run up his spine. 

"If you had read my file,you'd find I'm only half-Deltan." 

"And the other half?" Eric gulped. 

"Klingon." 

"Don't worry Captain. If I wanted to kill you or seduce you, I would have by now." she turned to the 'patient' on the bio-bed. "Now, get out of my Sickbay and tell your 'friends' outside to bug off unless they're _really_ sick." Growling the last bit to add emphasis, the crewman went running. "Sir, I must ask when I'll be getting a little help down here. With all those.. people out there, it's a little over-whelming when a real emergency comes up." 

Eric nodded staring at the ridges on her forehead. 

"Ah, yes, Doctor," he said snapping out of his minor trance. "I hope you have found the facilities adequate." 

"For what we expect..they will be. If not, I will make them adequate." she said with an evil grin on her face. 

"Very good. I'll get on some help for your head prob..uh.. head nurse problem." Eric began to turn flush. The Doctor saw this and forced him down on to a bio-bed with the speed of a Klingon warrior. And the force to match it. 

"Vitals. Ok. No signs of infection. Irregular heartbeat. More then likely owing to surprise. Have to check your records on that. Get up." 

Eric rose flustered from the bio-bed. 

"Thank you Doctor. I needed a quick check-up." Straightening his clothes out, he walked towards the exit. "Call the bridge if you need anything. I'll be taking a nice, long,_cold_ shower." and he left the Sickbay. 

Voluptura looked at door and wondered how someone so... normal ever became a captain. She looked out the door and stared at the almost filled hallway. She sighed and frowned. 

Eric reached the turbolift. The doors opened and let him in. 

"Deck 4." the turbolift began to rise. Eric began to whistle a tune. The turbolift rose further. Eric tapped his foot. The turbolift rose further. Minutes passed by. The turbolift still was moving upwards. After another minute,the turbolift slowed and the doors opened. Stepping out, he discovered he was on the Main Engineering deck. Chief O'Reilly turned to look at him. 

"ACH! Surprise inspection, Kapitan?" he looked at Eric with some surprise, waving a group of ensigns away from a console, hands behind his back. 

"No, chief. I was just trying to go to my quarters. I ended up here." 

"Ah...I was gonna get to that today. The turbolift sub-processors are a little wonky today. They sometimes reverse the floor number. I think it's their version of a joke. Computers do have a sense of humor." 

'Just like a certain walking computer _I_ can think of.' Eric thought to himself. 

"Well,chief...make sure it's fixed. ASAP." Eric turned and entered the awaiting turbolift. The doors shut. 

Hans breathed a sigh of relief. "ASAP? What in god's name does that mean?" he asked of no-one in particular. 

"I think it means, 'As soon as possible' sir.." muttered one of the ensigns. "No...I thought it meant 'Aspirin soothes any problem'.." muttered another. 

"Well,the kapitan wants it fixed. So let's get it done." Hans then turned and fell into an open turboshaft and fell 5 feet to the top of an awaiting turbo- lift car. 

The ensigns heard a mix of German-Irish profanities issue from behind the closed turbolift doors. 

TO BE CONTINUED (of course) 

STAR TREK:ANTI - All in a day's work.. (Part 3) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Midnight. (Ship's Time) In orbit above Piti II. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

The comm-panel above Eric's head bleeped. Eric turned over in the bed and mumbled something about not going to school that day. The comm-panel bleeped again. Eric threw a pillow at it,triggering the activation. 

"CAPTAIN." came Servix's booming voice. 

"Not today mommy...I feel icky." whispered Eric, still half-asleep. 

"Well, honey, you still have to get up and investigate the energy reading that's on the surface of the planet we're in orbit over." Servix's voice came smoothly over the circuit. 

"Ok mommy...just let me get my flip-flops on.." Eric opened his eyes. 

"SERVIX!" he yelled. 

"Captain. So glad you are...awake. Sensors have registered a power source activating on the planet below. You're needed on the bridge..." 

Snickers came from behind Servix's voice. Eric was searching at the back of his head for the duty roster for the night. That had to be that ensign. That midget one. 

"Very well, Servix. Meet me in transporter room 6 in five minutes. Norman out." 

He hit the button on the comm-panel. 

"Computer..." 

"WoRkIng,MaSter." Eric shrugged. Must be a malfunction in the vocoder unit in his quarters. 

"What are the conditions on the planet's surface?" he asked. 

"The SurFace TeMpeRaTurE iS 13 DegReeS AboVe ZeRo,And It iS RaIniNg,MaSter." 

"Good." he hit the comm-panel again. "Norman to Bridge." 

"Servix here,Captain." 

"Make sure we have cold and wet-weather gear ready for us for beam-down." 

"Yes Captain. Good to see you can read a weather chart. Servix out." 

------------------- 5 minutes later. ------------------- 

Eric entered Transporter Room 6 to find it empty. 

"Computer,what is the location of Lt.Servix?" 

"Lt.SeRviX is iN TranSpoRtEr RoOm 6,MaSter." 

"Computer...where am I located?" 

"You ArE LoCatEd in TranSpoRtEr RoOm 9,MaSter." 

Eric went back out the door and found that the number on the door had come partially loose off of the door and had flipped itself over. He swore to himself and made his way to Transporter Room 6. 

"Norman to Servix." He tapped on his comm-badge. 

"Servix here. Ensign Expendable...I mean Schultz and I are waiting for you to arrive." 

"I'm on my way.." 

------------------------ Three more minutes later ------------------------ 

Eric entered into Transporter Room 6. Servix and Ensign Schultz were standing on the pads waiting for him. Servix offered him a warm, fuzzy pull-over. Eric carried it up on to the transporter pad and put it on over his jumper. He looked at Chief O'Reilly and nodded. 

"Energize." The lights dimmed and the Hans kicked the console and the beams formed on the pads,covering the away-team in a sparkle. 

The beams faded away leaving the crew's underwear floating in mid-air until they fell. 

Hans sighed and sat back, waiting for the call to come in. 

"Och. May as well start on this wee monster." 

------------------------- On the surface of Piti II ------------------------- 

The re-assuring sparkle of an older unit transporter beam formed. Lt.Servix materialized on an old tree stump, Ensign Schultz landed on a bed of moss. Eric, on the other hand,was not so lucky. He materialized on top of a group of stones. 

"Ouch." Eric said as he pulled himself up off of the stone's flat surface onto his feet. He rubbed his posterior. "That'll leave a good shiner." 

"Please...Sir..not in front of the ensign.." Servix said from behind. 

Eric grimaced at another of Servix's bad jokes. 

"WELCOME...I am pleased you have arrived..." came a voice booming out around them. 

Servix pulled out her tricorder at the same time Eric and Schultz pulled out their phasers. Eric surveyed the area from atop his perch on the rocks. 

"Sir,the tricorder indicates that the energy source is...right there." she pointed at the rock Eric stood on. 

"And if you'd please..." A giant hand reached up and lifted Eric clear of the top of the rock and set him down gently. "Ahh...thank you. I do hate being used as a stepping stone." 

A face appeared on the face of the rock. 

"I am Tired. Welcome to my home." 

Eric looked at Servix as if he knew what she was about to say. The rock rose out of the ground and stood up. 

"Now...how can I help you fine folk this eve?" said the rock. 

Ensign Schultz passed out, Servix continued to scan with her tricorder, and Eric holstered his phaser and extended his arms open and with a stiff back and creaky voice said, 

"I am Captain Eric Norman of the Federation Starship Antiwesley. We come in peace." 

Servix groaned and shook her head. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- TO BE CONCLUDED 

STAR TREK:ANTI - All in a day's work.. (Part 4) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Captain's Log. Supplemental: Having beamed down to the surface of Piti II to investigate an unknown energy source, Lt.Servix,myself and the unconscious Ensign Schultz have discovered it to be a powerful energy being. I have entered into negotations with the being known as "Tired" treating it as a viable first contact situation. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Servix waved her tricorder over Tired's stone form multiple times. 

"Sir...I believe Tired maybe an...energy form." 

Eric nodded. 

"Yes. What your officer says is true. I was once a humanoid like you. I was a noble scientist. But one of my experiments went too far. It converted me into an energy being with the able to meld and shape rocks at will. Life was a bit boring at first,but I found I could slowly work my way throughout the cosmos bit by bit. Transferring myself from asteroid to asteroid,rock by rock, til I hit one that was on it's way into the atmosphere." 

Eric nodded. Servix found it all fascinating. Ensign Schultz was still un- conscious. Tired shifted his form around a bit. 

"I had heard that this was a beautiful planet. It still is. Reminds me so much of home.." Tired grew a sad look in what passed for his eyes. 

Eric found himself feeling sad for Tired. 

"Captain,if I may make a request." 

"Yes, Tired?" Eric responded. 

"Take me back up into space. There's nothing left for me here now. Let me go drift in the endless voids. Mayhaps I could find.." his voice trailed off. 

Eric nodded. 

"I think Tired,that it's the least we could do. But,I do have one favor to ask in return. Before you leave us, you could tell us more about you and your society. It sounds like they existed so long ago. The Federation would be very interested." 

"Your terms are agreeable Captain. If you need me to transfer into a smaller rock,please find one." 

The Captain nodded. Servix walked over and found a mid-sized boulder. She placed it up against the big rock Tired was in. Tired and the two rocks began glow brightly. The larger rock gradually faded and Tired's face appeared on the smaller rock. 

"Thank you Captain." 

Eric nodded and tapped his comm-badge. 

"Norman to Antiwesley. 4 to beam up." 

"Four?" came O'Reilly's voice questioningly. 

"Yes. The original away team and the energy source. It's in a big rock." 

Eric took off the comm-badge off of the still unconscious Ensign and placed it on the rock. 

"Lock onto the Ensign _and_ his comm-badge, Hans." 

"Aye. I got it now. Energizing.." 

The away team and Tired faded away in the bluey-glowy beam of the transporter effect. The silent wind dusted across the surface. -------------------------------- In orbit around Piti II, half a day later. ------------------------------- 

"Thank you again,Captain." said Tired from inside the torpedo tube. 

"Any particular direction you'd like to go, Tired?" asked Eric. 

"Just away from here. That's all that matters." he replied. 

Eric nodded. 

"Goodbye Tired. I hope we can meet up again someday." Eric said. 

"I suppose we might,Captain. You never know. Goodbye." Tired closed his eyes and they faded from view. Eric closed the hatch. Turning to the weapons console on the wall,he punched a few buttons and the ship expended Tired and sent him on his way. Eric turned and went to the turbolift. It was time for bed. He was tired. 

He tapped his comm-badge. 

"Norman to Servix." 

"Yes,Captain?" 

"Servix,how come it was 70 degrees and a clear night down there and we were wearing winter, wet weather wear?" 

"You're the one who ordered it,Captain." 

"Only because the computer told me..." Eric thought about it a second. 

It was said that they could hear the Captain all the way down in Engineering when he started swearing at Chief O'Reilly in his quarters. Chief O'Reilly was tempted to call him by comm-panel to try to decipher the muffled words, but decided against it and got to work on the computer. After all,for Hans, being yelled at for any malfunction, was all in a day's work.. 

THE END. ----------- 


End file.
